Redemption Song.

Hi again.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I've been talking this same ol' bullshit for months now, but a lot has changed in my life.

Have you ever been beaten down? So low that there was no foreseeable end? Been there, lived through it. Just when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you find out it's really just a freight train gunning right for you. I was lower than dirt, mon amies. And what pulled me through was the thought that, now, there's no where left to go but up :)

Lemon juice to lemonade. Yeah, there's that trademark optimism. There's what I'm known for.

You see, as an entertainer, a social butterfly, you're not supposed to have real problems. You're supposed to listen to everyone else's and keep the wine flowing. You're supposed to keep the jokes coming and the police at bay.

In my time of need the one that was there the most was a guy I'd met 3 weeks prior. He just wanted to hit the skins, but you can't blame him I guess. I am pretty hot, and I've never known vulnerability to turn a man off.

Box on top of box on top of box.

My life is shelved about 8 feet high by 6 feet wide in the center of my living room (well, off-center. TV's still set up) I've been living like this for over a month now, trying to figure out where I'm going to go.

My plan, dearests, simply involved the flip of a coin.
I gave a friend the chance to seal my fate: a nickel. Heads I stay stateside, tails I hightail it overseas. It was heads.

Secretly I was grateful for this; my main fear about going overseas was not being able to come back. All that aside, I've finally chosen my home. If all goes according to plan, I should be there within 7 months (provided I survive the next round of layoffs. Been cutting back where I can, but Chipotle is just too good)

What's more, I'm going back to school :)

Took damn near a decade, but I finally figured out what I want to do. Met with a counselor this afternoon to determine course requirements. I'm giving this 100% because what I'm going for will require nothing less, and as a show of dedication (to myself), after 4 years, I've closed down all of my web stores. Leftover stock in my possession is either being sold locally or given away. I have no more time for that hustle.

I have a new sense of purpose, loves. A renewed sense of being.

... and it's all falling into place. Wish me well.

M.

Short Circuit.

So yeah, it's been about three weeks since my last login.

A lot's happened, amigos. School started, met someone, cleaned out my closet for monthly Salvation Army drop off... I might have lied to you before, but I'm ready to admit now that I'm not made of steel.

I need to move out of my condo too because my mortgage company has been hounding me to refinance. I did it about 4 years ago and have been skating by paying pennies since (got in before this horrible economic downtown) Anyway, my loan is due to reset next year so my mortgage will double unless I move out. I've been toying with moving in the last few months, but now I need to get the ball rolling.

I never thought this would come out of my mouth, but I think I'm scared of change. Or maybe more I don't want to make my life any more difficult, so I've been acceptant of the status quo. This is the year I finally do it. I've been talking so much bull about leaving here, but this is the year it'll actually happen. I can feel it. I need to remind myself not to be scared of change, but to embrace it. Easier said than done.

Uploaded some more videos from my Japan trip; still not done. This vid is from the top of the Floating Garden building in Osaka. I was there on my last day, just a few hours before heading to Kansai to come home.



I think I can find those chairs at Ikea. I hope so anyway.

Here's a shot of the outside of the building. Took a little over 10 minutes to get to the top.

Made some new Hello Kitty listings. I got this one at the site of the Great Buddha in Nara (see below). This one I think I'll keep. I'm not much of a Hello Kitty fan, but I couldn't think of a price point I'd be comfortable selling at... not to mention I find it ironic and mildly blasphemous :)

Gotta get back to school work. I have to go to a testing lab tomorrow because my Biology teacher is a Julian-calendar-using-I'll-give-you-3-days-to-do-a-16-page-lab-and-I-don't-care-if-you-work-10-hour-days-you-have-6-tests-a-week sadist.

M <3

Kenroku-En Garden, Takoyaki, Rainstorms

Uploaded some new vids today. These are from Kanazawa in Kenroku-En ("Six Attributes"), one of Japan's 3 great gardens. Click here if you want more info.

It was raining pretty badly out, but it was so humid! I had on 2 shirts and a jacket that day; I was sweating like a pig. The whole place was surreal. I felt more like I was in Middle Earth than a place that actually exists in this world.

There were a lot of tourists there despite the weather. I stayed in the background and listened to them speak to each other to find out if they were Chinese, Korean, Thai, etcetera. I breathed a little sigh of relief if I understood them. The little Japanese I do know helped me out quite a bit. 

Everyone I encountered was very nice; smiles are universal :)

I made something like 30 videos during my trip so you'll have to forgive me if they're out of order or vague. I'll try to describe as much as I can remember.

Before I go, I have to mention this little tidbit because it was one of my "geek out" moments. When we came to a truck stop somewhere on our way to Kyoto, I shrieked a little when I found a takoyaki stand. 

Tada! :))

I love octopus and wanted to try it... and I won't even lie. It was only because there was a whole Ranma 1/2 episode about it (I believe in season 4) and I have yet to find it back home :-P

It was pretty good. The sauce was like A-1 or some type of barbeque sauce. I ate it for dinner whenever I found a stand if only to feel closer...

It's a really funny show if you've never seen it.

You should check it out sometime. I'm sure you can rent it from a local library.

Anway, back to the grind. Made some new listings for you Hello Kitty fans out there :)

Late,

M.

Suite Madame Blue

That's it. I'm going to LA tomorrow. I'm sick of this shit.

.

A little bit o'beach and retail therapy always feels good.

I think I'm being sent a message. My work situation has become intolerable; staffing has been reduced to five. Got two that don't talk (onE of them is cool on the rare occasion she does though), one that talks too much (you know wHo you are) and one I had to file a harAssment claim against as of Wednesday.

Doesn't my week sound awesome?

At least I'm still fortunate enough to be weathering this horrible recession.

Thank God.

Normally I would never take a road trip a week before an 18-hour international flight (CABIN FEVER :((( !!!), but I need to blow this pop stand. Work aside, had something hit close to home that I won't share here.

Escapism is not the answer, but it feels damn good while you're gone.

I'll have to be sated with LA for this week, but next week it's Tokyo :)

やった!!

Got my camcorder and I plan to document the whole trip right here. Seriously contemplating taking up an offer to go to London later this year ... and possibly losing my return ticket.

Just because they want to be miserable heifers doesn't mean I have to be.

M.

You soddy Mother...

Damn, D, you can't even try anymore?

Did you seriously come unshaven and in sweatpants? Nice to see you're putting some effort into it.

Watch season 1. Take notes.

(Thank you Hugo Boss, Giorgio Armani, and Madonna Mann)

I swear blazers are not poisonous, pinstripes work, and dress shoes are not reserved for the Sundays your mom drags you to church.

Play with color, but save the pastels (unless you actually plan to become a playboy, then all bets are off)

Also, socks are required.

The farthest you should ever walk from your house in sweatpants is to the mailbox. NO EXCUSES!!

Riots.

Greetings & salutations, all.

This has been a very tumultuous week. Finally all my business purchases arrived (Thank God), but I lost some co-workers to the recession and a friend was lost to jail.

I'm not familiar with the detention system, but only people on the visitors log can come, and only at certain times, depending on what cell block the inmate is in. Images of "OZ" flashed through my mind. I wondered if I was gonna get shanked in the hallways. I'm posting now so all is well.

Below is one of my screen print projects. I've had this blank canvas bag forever and finally decided on an image I want to tote around. It's reminiscent of early woodblock prints. At first I thought it was a female puppeteer, and I wanted to make the puppet a man. My freehand skills are lacking (and drawing in permanent marker doesn't leave much room for error) so I left it as is. Once the print is made I'll paint in the features.

I like my men on a string :)

I drew a quick sketch of this while watching "Alice in Acidland" Lately I've been obsessed with Something Weird videos. They make those 60s propaganda films and light snuff stuff. Click the link and watch the trailer. I was surprised that Bettie Page was on their roster. "The Wizard of Gore" scream at the 1:48 mark makes me laugh every time :)

I also watched the season 4 ender for Miami Vice. I didn't see that coming, but I'll know once season 5 comes in if they jumped the shark or not. Say it ain't so, Crockett!

Given that bail money had to be available no new projects were started in the last week, but I had the screen print stuff lying around so I went for it... I HATE being idle.

Finished a book, started another. Began a workout regimen I'll comment on later as it progresses. Learned a very important lesson....

"Love is the pursuit of shadows"

Is it a bad idea to pick someone up while on the clock? Who cares.. hopefully I don't go chickenshit...

Happiness Trigger.

Goodbye, Christ

"Listen, Christ, you did alright in your day, I reckon ... But that day's gone now.

They ghosted you up a swell story, too, Called it Bible-- But it's dead now.

The popes and the preachers've made too much money from it.

They've sold you to too many.

Kings, generals, robbers, and killers -- Even to the Cossacks,

Even to Rockefeller's Church,

Even to THE SATURDAY EVENING POST.

You ain't no good no more.

They've pawned you till you've done wore out.

Goodbye, Christ Jesus Lord God Jehova,

Beat it on away from here now.

Make way for a new guy with no religion at all --

A real guy names Marx Communist Lenin Peasant Stalin Worker ME --

I said, ME!

Go ahead on now, you're getting in the way of things, Lord.

And please take Saint Ghandi with you when you go,

And Saint Pope Pius,

And Saint Aimee McPherson,

And big black Saint Becton Of the Consecrated Dime.

And step on the gas, Christ! Move!

Don't be so slow about movin'! The world is mine from now on--

And nobody's gonna sell ME to a king, or a general, or a millionaire."

Sing it, Langston. Expensive day today.

Went to Sak's 5th to look for a bag for my trip. My mom got a gift card there from an auction and gave it to me. I always feel weird at those über pretentious high-end stores.

I walked up and the door was opened by two guys in suits looking like off-duty CIA agents (sort of like multi-cultural James Bonds). I looked around and saw chicks toting Chanels & LVs, but thank God for consignment stores. I was in YSL; I wasn't about to be shown up.

"I know a good 60% of the people in here flaunting all that garbage are fronting for mass debt, but I won't call them on it if they leave me alone" I thought.

I ended up buying a bracelet I probably could've got on eBay for $25 and split. Everyone there was really nice, but I still felt like I was in a Venus Flytrap.

Went to the art store and got some screen-printing stencils and markers, working on a mask inspired by Björk. Still waiting for the studs for shirt completion.

Doing big things, chickadees.

Don't do tomorrow what you can do today.

Cyclone.

It's been preached to me time and again that good traders trade without emotion.

That I need to just look at my balance "as numbers" instead of, you know: food, security, and comfort. It's a hurdle I've yet to cross.

There's a direct correlation between my attitude of the day and how my trading went that morning. That said, I've been in an excellent mood :) A stock I was sleeping on quadrupled...

Chickadees: It's long overdue that you look out for your OWN interests instead of waiting for someone to do it for you.

Fell back into routine, stopped by the used book store again. Found an awesome library discard on Shintoism (Do I trade for security or material things? Can I give it all up and live in the mountains, among nature, one step below the floating bridge of heaven?)

Get one, get rid of another.

I was wearing low-rise jeans and (unknowingly!) exposed my crack to every passerby... Meh.

They needed some excitement in their lives anyway.